Do You Trust Your Man??
So my first topic request is on Facebook and your man and opposite-sex friendships on Facebook. Although I found that one in five divorces use evidence found on social media platforms, my opinions are a bit different from the majority of what I’ve read. The question that I was asked is, “Is it inappropriate for someone in a relationship to be messaging an opposite-sex friend on Facebook. My short answer, No. My longer answer, it depends on the complete circumstances. I mean… let’s face it. If your man is profile snooping and catfishing, and you have definitive proof, it’s really just a question of how long you want to delay the inevitable. Otherwise, I think you should have a little trust in your partner. Until an issue has presented itself an issue isn’t there.
I am a Facebook junkie. Just short of having it administered intravenously. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night just to check my Facebook quick on my phone. During the five years I’ve been using Facebook, I have stumbled upon quite a few old flames or friends from high school and exchanged messages with them. Nothing more than catching up with an old buddy and a little reminiscing about the good ole days. At no point during any of these conversations did I feel the need or desire to stray beyond the realm of platonic banter. In fact, I do have a great deal of respect for my man, in that I never add anyone to my friend list. I exchange my hello’s and how are you’s and we part ways. If we happen upon one another again great, if not no loss.
So when I see a couple who has the “Joint FB account” I find it a little entertaining. Somewhat confusing as well, when I am trying to determine who it is I am speaking to. What I see in a relationship of this nature is a couple who has no trust in one another. Two people who may be a bit insecure with themselves and in their relationship. Now, it is possible, of course, that a previous incident caused this level of insecurity and distrust and is what brought on the “Joint Account”. But I’d say it’s a safe bet that the majority of “Joint Accounts” are just two insecure and untrusting people who want to monitor each other’s every move. This type of behavior will not facilitate a thriving relationship.
And who’s the one who ultimately suffers when the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head? In my relationship, even after eight years I still find myself coming up with irrational scenarios of things that are not going on behind my back, I find that it is me who suffers. I am the one who’s morose. It is me who is stewing in opposition and my partner nothing more than humored and perplexed. In fact, two days ago, I moved the couch to sweep under it and I found a cloth hair tie. I don’t use or own any cloth hair ties. Immediately the first thing that came to mind was that my man had some chick in the house when I wasn’t home. Even though I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would never do such a thing, I still let that thought creep in. When I asked him who it belonged to and he reminded me that my friend slept on our couch the day before I felt a tad bit foolish.
If you are in a new relationship, you have to give your man the benefit of the doubt. It’s the only way to build trust and a firm foundation for a future relationship to flourish. If you’re constantly creeping on facebook and your man, maybe you should evaluate how you feel about you and your self-worth. And if you’re in an established long-term relationship, you should already know that your man is committed to you and you have nothing to worry about.
What do you think?Tags: Shady Relationship Woes